Ignition of Hope by Ogbonnaya Chinedu

Make Your Decisions Count

A new year is a time to get your options clear and to make a significant decision to do what it is that makes you really happy. The real issue here is that you must take each day as a new opportunity to keep moving towards what you want. Do not look at what will happen in a year but more what will you do each day you awake to change, to move forward, to put into action knowing that each day wasted can never be found again. Each day is a new beginning , the chance to do with it what should be done and not to be seen as simply another day to put in time.

Make It More Than A Dream

Turn those dreams into a realistic plan where you are able to take steps even if it is only one action to keep your dream traveling forward and not stuck on the tracks with no power to the wheels. Wheels of a train only can move with energy and that energy must be directed to the wheels. And, just like a train, life moving forward needs your energy directed to life’s wheels. Each revolution of the wheels, each revolution of your steps keeps the train and your life moving – do not waste energy.

My Hope For You

In the coming year may you find,
happiness , use your abilities to solve problems and challenges; hope , may you always have it and never lose it; goals, to keep you focus on your dreams; and, success , by solving your problems, focusing on your goals, and always having hope, success will find you.

Bye to 2016. 2017 in a bit. I love you all 😘.
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The Bible through the eyes of a child

A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible. This is amazing and brought tears of laughter to my eyes.

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, the Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world. He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars. Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something. One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat. Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother. One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town. After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me. After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.
There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them. After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had
been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.') During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him. Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

The morning after Christmas by Reuben Abati

“How was your Christmas Day?”
“Comme ci, comme ca”
“What’s that?”
“I am speaking French. You mean you don’t even
understand elementary French?”
“No, I don’t. Speak English. How was Christmas?”
“Low-key. Like this, like that”.
“For me, it was a dead-end Christmas”
“God forbid. May we never have a dead-end
Christmas. I reject it in Jesus name.”
“If you like, summon the Holy Ghost. We have
never had a Christmas like this one. On
Christmas eve in Lagos, come and see people
just going about, many of them aimlessly. The
kind of shopping that heralds Christmas was
absent. For the first time, I could see the real
colour of sadness, frustration and regret on the
people’s faces.”
“It depends on what part of Lagos you are
talking about. If you had been in Lekki or Victoria
Island, you would have seen a different colour.”
“I know. There are two countries in one: the real
Nigeria and the other Nigeria, where people live
in a bubble. But the bubble is beginning to burst
everywhere. With the Naira now N500 to the
dollar, and businesses failing everyday, the pain
is spreading. It was an unusual Christmas.”
“Everywhere jus’ dry. I know some people who
used to hold Christmas parties every December
25. They just decided to postpone it till next
year. But did you at least manage to eat rice and
chicken?”
“Anybody that eats rice these days is very lucky
indeed, with a bag of rice now N20, 000. And you
can’t even be sure it is real rice. I learnt the
market was flooded with plastic rice.”
“Plastic rice? What does that taste like?”
“I guess like plastic. “
“Never heard of that. Plastic rice?”
“To be on the safe side, these days, I only eat
Ofada rice. Local rice.”
“All kinds of things happen during recession.
Plastic rice. Empty pockets.”
“I know something about empty pockets, my
brother. Imagine what I went through trying to
get money from the ATM, two days to
Christmas. I went to about five banks, you’d think
people were queuing for fuel, with everyone
looking anxious.”
“I know.”
“One queue covered an entire street. When I
eventually found an ATM and it was my turn, the
machine just started blinking. I didn’t know when
I started shouting Blood of Jesus, Blood of
Jesus.”
“You should have planned ahead. I don’t know
why people have to wait till the last minute
before withdrawing money. Nigerians should
learn to plan ahead.”
“I did. The ATMs misbehave a lot these days and
they are always crowded.”
“There is no money in circulation. I hear the
Central Bank is broke. The banks are just
managing.”
“You have started, hen? How can the Central
Bank of Nigeria be broke? For the past three
weeks now, the spot price of crude oil has been
over $50 per barrel. That’s some good revenue.”
“May be it is the banks that are broke then. I
just hope nobody has taken depositors’ funds to
go and invest in the MMM.”
“What nonsense!”
“MMM was giving people better returns on their
investments. Even bankers invested in the
scheme. And now that the scheme has been
frozen till January ending, there is panic
everywhere. You would be surprised the kind of
revelations that would come up if the profile of
investors in the scheme is investigated.”
“Nigerians are always looking for quick profit, but
I don’t believe that a bank will invest in MMM”
“Dey there. Look at the way special prayers,
night vigils and deliverance sessions are being
held over this MMM thing. Some churches are
holding get-your-MMM-money-back prayer
sessions, and when you attend those sessions,
come and see crowd! If that Ponzi scheme
should crash eh, a lot of people will commit
suicide.”
“One man sold his only car and invested the
money in MMM.”
“I know. Some people sold their houses too.”
“The MMM scheme is a comment on the
Nigerian banking system. Obviously, Nigerians
don’t trust the banks and their miserable deposit
interest rates.”
“Tell me, did you invest in the MMM?”
“No. But I almost did. I know some people who
made huge profits from it.

Moral Decadence Display

This just shows the level of moral decadence in our present society. These secondary schoolgirls have been the topic of discussion online after this photos went viral on Instagram. Despite their young ages, the girls appeared to know how to put up a raunchy display (especially their leader)

Relationship Musing ~ Tasting or Testing, Tasted or Tested?

He walked into a local food but a and called the attention of the attendant.
Him: Kemah, which soup do you have?
Kemah: Unku, we get Afang, Okro, Egusi, Bitter leaf, Sour soup, Vegetable soup.
Him: bring all of them let me taste and know which one I’ll prefer.
Kemah: (stares hard at him)

I was talking to a friend who happens to be a “relationship counselor”, and he was telling me how he counsels his clients to taste or test their would-bes to ascertain they are Sexually compatible.
Hear this friend: You’re doing yourself a huge dishonor if you subject yourself to such stupidity, no apologies! Be you a man or a woman, if you allow yourself to be used as a sex object by someone who doesn’t know the difference between “a soulmate” and “a sex mate”, then you’re headed for future pain. As much as sexually compatibility counts in marriage, you should be more focused on achieving “soul compatibility”. As years go by in marriage, the need for sex tends to wane, and it’s your soul connection that will keep you both going.
Now, what happens if you test or taste the first, second or third partner and they don’t meet up with your sexual expectation, you’re going to keep tasting and testing, right? And you wonder why you’re emotionally beaten and drained? Now, if you’ve ever had sex in your life, you should know that sexual satisfaction is a mindset, and not necessarily about the act. Again, you don’t need to have sex with someone to ascertain if they are good in it. You can decide to talk about it, and honesty is needed. Knowing what one like and what he's comfortable with is enough for you. Imagine going to an ice-cream kiosk to ask that they allow you taste the different flavors they have before you buy, who allows that? Stop setting yourself up for pain, Friends. Have you noticed that most players end up marrying people you’ll be wondering, how come? How did they end up with this kinda spouse? The answer is They Got Confused or you hear them say, he/she was a mistake.
When you enter a big supermarket without a clue to what you want, and go operating by sights, you’ll find yourself shopping wrong. If you’re dealing with a mature person, you both know good sex is not a criteria for a lasting relationship. Your body is not microphone that needs to be tested, stop allowing different people handle you. The psychological trauma is worst, when you have to start remembering how or what the
different partners you’ve allowed “test run or taste” you feels like. Some people have already lost count of the number of partners they’ve allowed sex, because they are testing and tasting. When next someone says to you 'I want to be sure you’re good in bed'. Ask them what happened to the other ones they've tested and tasted. Every relationship counselor is not a relationship
counselor. It doesn’t matter where they are trained or how they are trained. Your future should come in view as you take
certain counsels to heart.
Much Love 😍 😘 😍 😘
#IAmWisdom
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Infuse the change you need

A 6 yr old boy was in the market with his 4 yr old sister. Suddenly the boy found that his sister was lagging behind. He stopped and looked back. His sister was standing in front of a toy shop and was watching something with great interest. The boy went back to her and asked, “Do you want something?” The sister pointed at the doll. The boy held her hand and like a responsible elder brother and said, "Give this doll to her" . The sister was very very happy… The shopkeeper was watching everything and getting amused to see the matured behaviour of the boy… Now the boy came to the counter and asked the shopkeeper, “What is the cost of this doll, Sir? !” The shopkeeper was a cool man and had experienced the odds of life. So he asked the boy with a lot of love & affection, “Well, What can you pay?” The boy took out all the shells that he had collected from sea shore, from his pocket and gave them to the shopkeeper. The shopkeeper took the shells and started counting as if he were counting the currency. Then he looked at the boy. The boy asked him worriedly, “Is it less?” The shopkeeper said, “No, No… These are more than the cost. So I will return the remaining.” Saying so, he kept only 4 shells with him and returned the remaining. The boy, very happily kept those shells back in his pocket and went away with his sister. A servant in that shop got very surprised watching all these. He asked his master, “Sir ! You gave away such a costly doll just for 4
shells ???” The shopkeeper said with a smile, “Well, for us these are mere shells. But for that boy, these shells are very precious. And at this age he does not understand what money is, but when he will grow up, he definitely will. And when he would remember that he purchased a doll with the Shells instead of Money, he will remember me and think that world is full of Good people. It will help him develop a positive attitude and he too in turn will feel motivated to be Good.”
Mind Mantra – Whatever emotion you infuse into the world, it will further spread. If you do good, goodness will spread. If you do bad, negativity will spread. Realize you are a very powerful source of energy. Your good or bad will come back to you magnified. Not in the ways you want it, and probably not in the ways you can understand it.
But it will come back. Loved it….hence posted.
Keep your circle positive. Don’t forget to share this piece of goodness with your circle.

List of MTVAMA awards winners

ARTIST OF THE YEAR
Wizkid (Nigeria) – WINNER

SONG OF THE YEAR
“My Woman, My Everything” – Patoranking ft. Wande Coal (Nigeria) – WINNER

BEST BREAKTHROUGH
Tekno (Nigeria) – WINNER

Best Hip Hop
Emtee (South Africa) – WINNER

Personality of the Year
Caster Semenya (South Africa) – WINNER

VIDEO OF THE YEAR
“ Niquer Ma Vie“ – Youssoupha (Congo) – Director: Antony Abdelli & Jose Eon – WINNER

Best Collaboration
DJ Maphorisa feat. Wizkid & DJ Bucks –“Soweto Baby” ((South Africa/Nigeria) – WINNER

Best Male
Wizkid (Nigeria) – WINNER

BEST FEMALE
Yemi Alade (Nigeria) – WINNER

Best Group
Sauti Sol (Kenya) – WINNER

Best Live
Cassper Nyovest (South Africa) – WINNER

Best Pop/Alternative
Shekinah (South Africa)/ Kyle Deutsch (South Africa) –WINNER

Naked for FB likes

If a lady is bent on self-destruction , no matter what she’ s told on morals , she wont listen. Where has the era of decency transcend to? This is the question that has been bothering my mind as a sane being. Things are really getting out of hand as many girls in the name of fashion and Facebook likes have continued to expose their nakedness to the world. I keep wondering why indecent dressing has become a common habit among youths of today. What's your say?

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Contact: 09057596656

Two Minutes Management Course

Warning... these lessons contain foul language
Lesson One
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit, and ate it.
Management Lesson - To be sitting doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the
lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Management Lesson - Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold; the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realise how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He laid there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Management Lessons - (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
This ends your two-minute management course. Share with friends.
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What I have learned

I Have Learned that...
... the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
... when you're in love, it shows.
... just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.
... being kind is more important than being right.
... you should never say no to a gift from a child.
... I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
... no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
... sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
... life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
... we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
... money doesn't buy class.
... it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
... under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
... the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?
... to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
... when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
... love, not time, heals all wounds.
... the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
... everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
... no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
... life is tough, but I'm tougher.
... opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
... when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
... one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
... a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
... I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.
... everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
... it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.
... the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
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Quote of the Day! See Robert Mugabe Response To Buhari’s Speech

ROBERT MUGABE QUOTE OF THE DAY!!!
“If your wife belongs to your kitchen and bedroom only, why do you waste your country's scarce resources to travel to Imperial Germany to visit another man's wife, who does not belong in the kitchen?” – Robert Mugabe (October 2016, International African Women Summit – Botswana)

NIGERIA AND HER FAILING EDUCATIONAL SECTOR

If 2y(5x-7y) -6y X +6 = 45 find x.
Yesterday i was in the sitting room watching a program called China24 on CCTV NEWS, an electric lamp manufacturer was interviewed together with his workers in his factory. The workers are kids between the ages or 12-18 the most beautiful part of it was that the kids can on their own manufacture same.

Now let’s come down to Nigeria. Nigerian students are busy searching for “x” while students in the developed countries are manufacturing things for the development of their country. In Nigeria, our engineering students spend nearly all their time solving difficult equations and searching for “x”. In Nigeria, students will be asked to search for “x” I do smile and ask myself how can we use Algebra and simultaneous equation to boost the economy. How can we use the located “x” to solve the challenges facing us? In Nigeria, teacher will draw a circle having dots in it on the chalk board and tell the kids “this is an Orange” imagine. In Nigeria, a teacher will be in the classroom using acid to change litmus paper to red on the chalk board. In fact, in Nigeria the best place to mix acid with base is on chalk board. In Nigeria, a teacher will be in the class teaching rock and it types and expect the students to be able to identify them in real sense how possible? However, the above are some of the reasons why at 50+ as an oil producing country we are still importing tooth-pick and matches. Our brain has been channel to the fact that failure to go to school will end one up as a domestic servant of the educated ones which I seriously disagree with. We can’t all be in the class room at the same time and expect us to catch up with the developed countries, it never done; we will keep depending on them with such barbaric idea. Let those that are willing to go into sport be on the field or track not l in class room, Christian Ronaldo of Real Madrid FC was expelled from school at the age of 14 and today he is a world footballer. Let take those that are good in construction to factories or workshops not classroom. Let’s take away pen from our engineering students and send them out of class. Let’s take away pen from those that are willing to take hoe, cutlass, hammer, saw, screw driver etc. Our too much dependent on pen is sending us backward. To me, spending 5, 6 or more years in tertiary institution is nothing but a total waste of time, 3 years is enough for engineering courses. 12 calender month is enough for food related courses and 3 or 4 years is enough to be a lawyer. Imagine our youth spending 8years of their lives in University and still our Government don’t trust on their expertise rather they travel out of the country.. At this juncture, I will like to call on the government at all level to look into this and find a lasting solution to it. Lastly our government should stop sending the talented ones away by sending them aboard for training and failed to establish/provide where they will be discharging what they’ve learnt or the skills they’ve acquired upon their arrival. If we can do this, I believe that few years to come Nigeria will be the greatest country of the world while others will be on the queue at our back. But before then, I remain my humble self. God bless my father land.

Culled From Social Media and Propagated as Instructed.

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Charly Boy hits hard at FG

Charles Chukwuemeka Oputa aka Charly Boy , in this inspiring satire took a jibe at the Federal Government of Nigeria over the ‘Change Begins With Me’ launch of the present government. He wrote: So many questions dey slap me for face; sometimes my mouth no fit talk sef, na him I turn to Achebe. Why, why, why??? I dey ask myself. My people, remember the Change they promised us? Now they are telling us to be the change we want to see. Ha ha ha, the more you look, wayo made easy 101. But why we dey allow all these rogue behaviour from our leaders? Even with a collapsing economy, These our yeye leaders are still the biggest African spenders in London. In some shops especially on Oxford street, Many Naijas have turned that street into their own Las
Vegas with their loot, even as dollar don high reach and still dey climb. Kai! Why? Naija reminds me of one “Agbaya” (Yoruba word for old-for-nothing, foolish nonentity), even at the age of 56, still as stupid, with no sense of direction. 56yrs of rubbish and nonsense, even as we the followers are adjudged the happiest people in the world. Ha, suffering and smiling abi? What do we have to show for all the years of oil boom? Dilapidated primary, secondary schools,
and useless universities where violence and cult reign supreme, where young girls sleep around with their lecturers for grades; hospitals that remind me of
mechanic sheds and doctors that are no better than vulcanizers? From Obasanjo to Jonathan’s era, more than $25billion was injected into the power sector, but rats stole and siphoned most of it to their foreign accounts and private
pockets. Why? Our leaders have failed because of selfishness, religious fundamentalism, graft, corruption, indiscipline, impunity, greed, and so on. While they live and enjoy a lavish life, millions of Naijas are deprived of their basic needs of water, light, food, health, education, housing. Yet, the poor
remain docile and afraid, waiting for manner from heaven. Oh Lord. Why?

THE ADVENTURE OF A PRIVATE LESSON TEACHER 5

Episode 5

ME: what really happened?
JANET: I used to have a boyfriend, his name is Kingsley. He was the one who deflowered me and I love him so much.
ME: so what went wrong?
JANET: I loved him with everything, my life, my parent’s money, my everything****** wanted to cry***
ME: its ok janet, but you still haven’t told me what happened.
JANET: he said he is no longer
interested*****crying****
ME:****placed my hand on her back, drew her closer*****. He said so for what? why? what did he said your offence is?
JANET: he said I am proud, arrogant, rude and bossy. I smiled, comforted her, wiped her tears and cuddled her. That day marks the beginning of my
friendship with Janet . We chatted and gist for the first time for long hours. I got home, dropped my fone on my bed
and tried to catch some sleep when I got a new whatsapp message, “thanks so much for your words of comfort, and
thanks for giving me a smile today”. This is my whatsapp number”. I smiled and saved it.
Day after day, week after week, Janet and I became closer that we exchange calls and texts everyday, we chat till late nights. I graduated from sitting room
conversations to following her into her room on many occasions. One day while in Janet’s room, a text came in from
sikirat, “onihaxy, we have to talk”. Chaiii, sikirat is getting uncomfortable.
It was another market day, sikirat came around as usual. But this time, she wore a frown face.
SiKIRAT: what is going on between you and aunty Janet?
ME: there is nothing. I’m just trying to make friend with her so as to persuade her to take her lessons serious and pass her exams.
SIKIRAT: ****sad face****, onihaxy it's a lie, I have been noticing the two of you recently, I know she has been calling you recently, its unfair oooooo, you want to dump me abi?
***wanted to cry**
ME: ****i drew her closer***, I’m not dumping you, you know I like you.
SIKIRAT: I’m scared, I’m not feeling safe, this is my first time of having a graduate boyfriend in my life, this is my first time of loving a guy to this level, I don’t trust you,
ME: why?
SIKIRAT: you may dump me because I am a house girl.
ME: you know I won’t do that.
I pet sikirat, I drew her mouth closer and planted a kiss on her lips, she responded, it led to a hot romance, I walked my
hands down to her blouse, pulled it off.
SIKIRAT: do you truly love me?
ME: off course, you know that I do, why the question?
SIKIRAT: if you know you truly love me, there is something I want you to do for me right now. Will you do it?
ME: ****my D##k still erect.
Yes dear, just name it dear, I will do anything for you, I mean anything, just name it. I can catch shekau for you if you ask for it.
SIKIRAT: *****she opened her purse, brought out a blade***. If
you know you truly love me, I want us to make a bl0*d covenant so that I can be assured that you will not just Bleep me and dump me.  My D##k dropped instantly..
“Shocked” bl0*d covenant?
……………………………………………

Say No to Adultery

...and when caught, they say something like, 'Oh...I don't know what came over me, it just happened'.
Shhhhhhhhhhhh!
Adultery doesn't just happen. Adultery doesn't happen by accident. In fact, the fallacious idea that it does, is one of the biggest self-delusion ever perpetuated by mankind. Zips don't just open on their own and clothes don't just fall off effortlessly. No one has ever accidentally fallen onto someone's bed and miraculously found themselves sleeping with a stranger. It isn't just a decision you make on the whim and just run with it. It begins in the lustful heart and is accompanied by certain treacherous steps. It takes premeditated methodical planning, skillful seamless strategizing, artful deception and a mouthful of sweet lies to commit adultery. A moment of temporary pleasure or a lasting
memory of regrets that will remain with you for as long as you breathe. A moment of objectionable pleasure or your divinely built family. A moment of lust or your marital vows. A
moment of deceptive defilement or your enviable marriage. Which is more precious? Choose
wisely. Say no to adultery!
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THE ADVENTURE OF A PRIVATE LESSON TEACHER 4

Episode 4

Two weeks before the robbery day, Janet had been skipping class seriously. She had been frustrating my effort and I knew if
she continues this way, no doubt that she will fail the next JAMB. So I thought of a plan. Each time I am about to tell her to attend classes, I will place my phone on a recorder. So I have been capturing all her excuses and conversations. Even the periods
that she do threatened me, I do record the threats. On the night of the robbery, I have sneaked in as usual, I ate my dinner in
sikirat’s room. We have had our lessons. Just when we were bleeping in different styles, we had a knock on the gate. ” Open the gate or else I will blow your head with gun”, a voice said from outside. We were scared, my D# # k went flat instantly. What do we do now?, sikirat asked. I don’t
know too, I replied. Immediately I
remembered my neighbour friend at home. His name is sunkanmi. Sunkanmi is a police officer, he had joined the police force about 7 years ago, he was feared by people in our neighbourhood. I placed a call to sunkanmi.
ME: hello sunkanmi, abeg there is trouble. Where you dey?
SUNKANMI: I dey work on night duty
ME: please we need your help at the white house
SUNKANMI: where is white house? And what is happening there?.
ME: armed robber are here pls do
something to help us. **I described the location**
Sunkanmi: but wetin u dey do for there this midnite?. You go rob?
ME: I will explain later. I hanged up. I and sikirat locked ourselves
inside the bathroom in her room. The thieves had gained entrance into the compound, manipulated the entrance door and now in the living room. They searched every room including sikirat’s room. We
didn’t make any sound, they went to the kitchen, ate the beefs in the pot before returning back to the living room. They were about going away with some money
and properties when we heard another voice outside “stop there, if you move then you are dead”. I was happy that sunkanmi had helped. All the robbers were arrested, I and sikirat came out of the room, dressed up and went outside to see what was going on. I couldn’t see sunkanmi among the cops. The police officer asked ” who are the occupants of this house?”, the
gateman pointed to sikirat as the person who lives in the main house as at that time. The police officer turned to me. Oga, who
are you?. I went dumb and couldn’t speak. How do I explain my identity?. Its past 4am, the robbers are now in the police van, the officer told I and sikirat to follow them to station for statement writing. ****chaiiiii,
my own don meet me today, wetin I go tell madam?, how did I get there at midnite? what for?. On reaching the station, I called
sunkanmi and he gave me directions to where I will see him.
ME: sunky baba, you have to help me please.
SUnKANMI: what happened?, I was the one who arranged the boys to rescue you after your call last night.
ME: I know, but I needed help.
SUnKANMI: what do you want me to do for you?,
ME: ********i explained all my movements, my secret lessons to him****
SunKANMI: so what?
ME: madam will be here soon. What will be my explanation?
SUNKANMI: leave that to me, In your statement, just write it that you were coming from a vigil when you noticed the robbery movements, you hide somewhere, minutes later, you called me. You saw the gate opened by the robbers, you summon the courage to enter with the mindset to rescue the occupants of the house, then
the police arrived. That’s all.
ME: sunky baba. Thanks so much ooooo. ****chaiiii, see police sense. I went back to meet sikirat, whispered into her ears about what sunkanmi said. She was happy and relieved because she too was scared of what will
happen if madam finds out. Sunkanmi also gave a script to sikirat to write. It was that
day I believed that “POLICE IS YOUR FRIEND”.
We both write our statements as directed by sunkanmi. At about 6:10am, madam and Janet arrived.
MADAM: police officer, what happened?, I heard my house was robbed and my maid is here? ***i guess oga Peter didn’t mention my name to madam. That's good of him****
IPO: yes madam. It was this young man that alerted the police “pointing at me”****he reads out my statement to madam.
Sunkanmi also add sauce and juice to the story. Madam was so exicited. 'See me at home tomorrow sunday at 3pm,'madam said to me. Its 3pm on sunday, I dressed well and went straight to the white house.
I was welcomed warmly. Madam, Janet and Gideon were sitting in the living room.
MADAM: onihaxy, I’m so happy about what you did, for your courage, boldness and the
police you invited to save our properties from been stolen.
ME: ******my head come dey swell***. You are welcome ma.
MADAM: now, you are now more than a lesson teacher. You are now part of our family. Feel free to come here any time. You
may sleep over whenever you feel like.
ME: ****my head come swell again***** thank you ma.
MADAM: sikira!!!!!!!!!!!!, show onihaxy his new room. He is now part of us, whenever he feels like sleeping over, he should be
welcomed. Janet looked at me, she smiled and winked.
I followed sikirat to see the room. "Now, no more sneaking, we are now closer, "Sikirat said. I left the white house on that sunday
evening, different thoughts running through my mind. What is Janet up to?, why did she winked at me?, what if I was
caught with sikirat?, I thought of
everything and decided to maintain my usual lesson outing with to the white house. Sikirat’s lesson at my home continued every market days, I keep on enjoying food stuffs and beef courtesy of sikirat, we still have our friday night lesson/s#x at the white house. Something happened along the line. I came
for lessons as usual and met Janet in the living room looking depressed and sad. I tried talking to her but she won’t say a word. I manipulated her by every means
but she won’t talk, I came closer to her, held her palm, she was so cold, I looked into her eyes and it was soaked. Janet must be going through something or something
happened to her I thought, yet she wouldn’t speak. Janet stood up and went to her room. I didn’t know where the boldness came from, I followed her. She sat on her bed, bending down her
head and supporting it with her left hand, she was wearing her usual bump short with a yellow top. I sat beside her. Held her
hand again trying to talk to her.
“Janet, you can talk to me”. I can’t say anything, she replied. “Do you want me to start crying also?” She lifted up her head looked
at me and said, "Onihaxy, I have been heart broken”…………

THE ADVENTURE OF A PRIVATE LESSON TEACHER 3

The following week started. Sikira started her lessons at my house every 5 market days. She will
stop by and spend between one hour to two hours before going to market. I was not s*xually
attracted to sikirat because of her mode of dressing which was extremely local. I told her about her dressing and she said there was nothing she could do about it. I told her that I will get her new cloths, but she said she won’t
be able to wear them because
its madam that always buy the clothing for her and she dares not put on anything that doesn’t
come from madam.
**chaiii, this madam is wicked ooooo, she just wanted to kill the beauty in this sikiratu, I thought**.
Whenever sikirat comes around, I teach her basic english and
mathematics, and I gained something new in return, sikirat will branch at my place when
coming back from the market, she will give me part of the food stuffs, beef and fruit she is
suppose to carry to madam. I started eating good meals courtesy sikiratu, since the day1 of her lesson, I have been
enjoying the same meal as that of the white house. Most times, sikira will cook the soup for me before going back home. Yet, I didnt have the mindset of having s*x with her because she wasn’t
s*xually attractive. We had problem with the friday night classes because madam and the family always come back from
church by 5am and sikirat must be met in the house, so we suspended the night tutorials. Janet was still skipping class as
usual. From 5 classes to 4, then 3, now she attends only 2 classes in a week. I dare not tell madam
as instructed, otherwise janet will make me loose my job. All I do during janet’s periods is to sit
down and watch african magic while she either goes out of
the house or lock herself up in the room. I was getting uncomfortable about Janet’s
attitude and decided to speak with sikira about it one day during our lessons in my house.
ME: sikirat, what is wrong with that Janet sef? she is very lazy, she keeps skipping class and
I’m getting fed up.
SIKIRAT: **laughs for a while**: sebi she dey reduce your stress ni?, then why complain?.
ME: what if she fails her next jamb exam? madam will sack me that I’m not doing my work
SIKIRAT: there is nothing you can do about it, madam had
employed 3 lesson teachers this year before you,whenever they complain to madam about
aunty Janet’s attitude. Aunty janet will lie that the teachers want to sleep with her, then madam will sack them.
ME: chaiiiiiiiiiiii . Na wa ooooo. So what do I do now?
SIkirAT: just obey whatever she says if you want to retain your job.
***then I thought to myself, there must be a way out of this, but that is what I don’t know yet.*****
Two months have past since I started my lessons in the white house and my second week of lesson with sikirat. Sikirat has
been responding better, she works her assignment very well
and still, there is no intimate attraction because sikirat will always wear a big long gown like old mama, and threads her hair with rubber. The following week, sikirat arrived at my house as usual and told me.
SIkIRAT: “we can now be having classes every friday night”
ME: **surprised **. But how? Where? And when?
SiKIrAT: at our house. The white house.
ME: but you know that will not be possible. What about the gateman?. You want to kill me?
SiKIRAT: you have nothing to worry about, I have discussed
everything with him. In fact he is happy about it and ready to help. He just wanted to see you for confirmation.
ME: are you sure I’m safe?
SiKIRAT: very sure.
After the lesson, sikirat hugged me and later kiss me as she was leaving for market. I was shocked and my dick rose up.
SIKIRAT: I’m sorry for what I did. I just wanted to appreciate you for
your support and classes.
ME: you are welcome.
Sikirat left for the market, returned to my house as usual to drop food stuffs before going
back to the white house.
The following monday. I went to the white house for lessons as usual. When I knocked the
gate, the gate man opened and
said. “Oga teacher, abeg, I wan see you small oooo”.
We entered his quarters directly beside the gate. He offered me a sit and we started the discussion.
ME: oga peter, u say u wan see me. Hope no problem?
Gateman:. Yes, na sikirat discuss something with me and I wan confirm from you.
ME: and what is that?
***pretends as if I didn’t know anything***
Gateman: she say she don start a lesson at your place but the time no reach, she come say she want make you dey come here every friday nights when madam and the family go vigil( allnite).
ME: yes, she said it. So what are we doing about it?
Gateman: the thing wey go happen be say. You go dey come around 9pm. I go sneak you into
my quarters. And when madam and the family don go church, you go come out go meet sikiratu
for inside. And when it's 15minutes to 5am. U go come back to my quarters because you no fit go out until 5;30am because of vigilantes. So when its 5:30am , I go sneak you
out of the gate. U hear am?.
ME: oga peter, you get sense. Thank you very much
Gateman: that one na small thing. I dey do am because you be showboy, you dey always buy
gala (sausage roll) come for me. And sikira too na good girl. She dey always add to my food and steal fish for me to chop. I just happy say she wan learn book. But the service na on 2 conditions oooooo.
ME: wetin be the condition?
Gateman: you go dey pay me 5k monthly, and the 2nd one be say, you for not go beyond lesson with sikira oo. Because if she get
belley, them go mention my name say na me dey allow guys enter come give am.
ME: se na only that 2?
Gateman: yes
Me: no problem. I be gentle boy and besides, I no dey date sikirat, I just see am as a good friend.
Gateman: ***laughs****, u mean say since all these days wey sikirat dey come your house, you
never chop am?.
ME: I swear
Gateman: oga teacher, you don miss ooooo.
You see wounded cow, you no slaughter, shey na healthy cow you wan come cut.
ME: thank you oga peter, make I dey go meet Janet , we go talk later.
I walked into the house to meet Janet . She was still rude, bossy and lazy as usual. She only
managed to stay 40minutes for the chemistry class before going
inside again. I waited for Gideon , tutored him and left.
It was friday, sikirat had called me at 8pm to remind me of our new schedule. I no just get the heart, my mind just dey shake say if dem catch me nko?. I gather courage went to the white
house,sneaked into the gateman’s room as planned. And when the family were out, I left the room. Before I could get to the door, sikirat had opened the
main door. You are welcome “she said”. She took me straight to her room. She had kept a plate of rice and meat for me. She said, “that is the food I’m supposed to eat, but I decided to eat the remnants from the pot and keep this for you.”.
Haba, u shouldn’t have done that now, why starve yourself? I said. She replied, you deserve more than that, infact you deserve
everything in this world. For you to tutor me free of charge,
agreed to pay oga Peter 5k monthly and also risk your life to be here at nights, u deserved
everything. I was marvelled. I never knew I have done something that important. After eating.. I marked her previous
assignment. We did little of
mathematics till 11:10pm. Sikirat said she was tired and wanted to
take her bath then go to bed. I said ok. Just infront of me, sikirat untied her wrapper from her waist and removed her top. Oh my GOD!!!, she wasn’t wearing anything inside. For
the first time, I saw the real beauty in sikirat. She was so endowed with an average bosom but not up to that of Janet . The boobbi were so shaped and the
tips were pointed. My dick
resurrected again but I had to
stylishly cover it.
ME: haba, sikirat, you don’t even care that I’m here, see how you are unclad
Sikirat:. **laughs***. Why should I be afraid?, you are a special part
of me. I know you like aunty Janet and don’t like me because you are educated and I am a
poor house girl.
ME: its not like that sikirat, if I don’t like you, I won’t risk my life to be here this night.
Sikirat: but you don’t admire me and always touch me each time I come to your place.
ME: I’m shy ni. Because you are older than me
SIkiRAT: and you are educated than me. So who is higher between the two of us?.
We laughed as she enters the bathroom to shower. In less than 6 minutes, she was out, tieing a towel and still saw me fully
dressed in my jean trousers and
roundneck. Oga teacher!, is this
how you want to sleep with your dress on?, She said. I’m ok like this, I replied.
She said “no oooo, there is heat”. She came closer, unbutton my shirt, removes my singlets, in the process, her towel loosed.
OMG!!, sikirat is naturally beautiful without cloths.
She looks s#xier and younger. I don’t know where the courage came from. I pulled her head closer and kissed her. She
responded and kissed me
passionately. I grabbed. She was moaning softly and helping to unzip my trousers.
She removed my trousers. Then she lied beside me and said “oga
teacher, come on me”. But I don’t
have a condom here. I replied. She said “oooh God. Can’t you do it without condom?”. I said NO because oga peter warned me that you should not be
pregnant. She laughed. She removed the rubber band on her hair and then walked Unclad to the kitchen. I still don’t know what she is up to with the rubber band. She came back with a small white nylon. She wore the nylon on my D##k. This girl too get sense. Omo see improvised condom for here ooooo****.
Without wasting much time. I lean forward to her. We enjoyed ourselves. Later we showered. We both went back to bed and
sleep. I woke up and sneaked out as planned. We continued this exercise for the next 6 weeks. We will meet at my house on market days for lessons alone. Then meet at the white house for s#x and lesson. Not until one friday night at the white house. We were inside doing our normal routine until when armed robber
arrived at the compound that night.
………………………………………………………………………………………….....
Episode 4 loading......

THE ADVENTURE OF A PRIVATE LESSON 2

Episode Two

Over the weekend, I had a fresh hair cut, a fresh perfume, a new 3 packs of shirt all ahead of my new job. I relocated to my own apartment in akure where I used toblive before I left for service.
Finally, its monday, I went straight to my new job at 10am.
“Ko ko ko”, I knocked on the gate, the gateman opened, looked at me. He recognised me. Madam no dey around, “he replied” but madam say make aunty janet
attend to you, aunty janet dey inside. I entered into the compound. Knock on the main door. “Ko ko ko”. Who is that?, a voice answered from inside. Its me onihaxy, I replied. She opened the door and stood at the entrance. **Chaiiiiii, Janet was wearing a black round neck top, the Tips were pointing out, I guess she isn’t wearing a bra, she wore anmicro mini skirt, she has an average height with a yam leg*******
JANET: ****i guess she can’t recognise seeing me days back, well its normal sha, girls don’t recollect seeing guys but guy can
always recollect seeing a lady at
12midnight.****, who are u looking for?
ME: I am the new lesson teacher. Mummy told me to resume today.
JANET:, ****still not smiling**** really?, come in and have your seat……. Sikira!!!!!!!, where is this girl ?, she screamed.
**i thought in mind, this girl must be mean, see the wey she dey scream on this poor girl.****
sikira came out, she saw me sitting, she smiled at me and said “Hello sir”, I smiled back and said “hi”. Janet frowned at her and shouted at her, “pick this cup and
get out of here, “. Sikira left and Janet turned to me. I looked at her again and can’t believe she is 19. Her body shape looks 24.
She is robust like “akebaje”. She sat down on the other chair, she smiled a little.
JANET: I’m sorry pls, that girl is just lazy, if I don’t shout at her, she will never work. So what is your name again?
ME: onihaxy
JANET: ok, mummy already informed I and my brother that you will be coming around to tutor us. So let’s talk
ME: ok
JANET: I hope you will tutor well because you will be the 4th teacher to be employed this year, they all are not good at teaching,
and when I notice that you are not good, I will report you to mum and you will be fired.
ME: **my heart skip beats****, I am a good and born teacher, I will try my best.
JANET: better. So let’s discuss the time table. Mummy said 5 times a week but I want it 3 or 4 times. And mummy must not
know about this. Understand?
ME: ****no wonder you no pass jamb, lazy
girl****. Ok, I replied
JANET: so what time and day will be ok for you?
ME: any day and time you fix is ok
JANET: anyday and time?. I thought you teach at a school? Or don’t you work elsewhere?
ME: ***chaiiiiiiii, this girl is rude oooo, see as she dey question me****, I used to teach when I served. I just passed out and
still job hunting.
JANET: *raised eye brow* so you are a graduate?, you have served?, waaooooooh, I was thinking you are an NCE holder or
school cert. That is interesting. She smiled.
ME: ***chaiii, see as my small stature dey embarrass me****. So what time will u prefer?
JANET: monday, Wednesday, friday and saturday. You will come at 2pm, teach me till 4pm when Gideon will be back from
school. Then start with Gideon from 4:30 to 6pm. Is that ok by you.
ME: its ok. So can we start today?.
JANET: no problem, will you wait behind? Or come back by 2pm?
ME: **thought***, I think I will come back. But where is mummy
JANET: don’t you know she will be at work? She is a banker and won’t be back untill 6:30pm or 7pm.
ME: **chaiii, this girl is naturally rude***, ok Janet, I will be back by 2pm.
JANET: wait, let me have your number just incase. ” Sikira!!!!!!!!!!!, bring my phone for me on my bed” she screamed.
Sikira came with the phone. Janet collected it from sikira while sikira is still standing there. She smiled at me again.
JANET: call your number
ME: 0806323********
JANET: saved, ****she flashed my number*******
ME: I got it, let me be on my way, I will be back by 2pm.
She returned the phone to sikira to return, I left the compound, walked out to the gate. Just as I was outside the gate, my phone ranged. I looked at the screen, it was an unknown number. I picked
ME: hello, who is this?
CALLER: its me sikirat, that is my number, save it. I will call you later, bye.
***hanged up****
I got home wondering, what does skirt wants from me?. She must have memorized my number while I was calling it to Janet.
**fast forward***.
Its 1:30pm, I left my house and set out for my lesson job. I arrived at the white house, knocked on the gate and the gate man ushered me in. I went straight to the main door entrance. A heavy sound of. “I fit
die on top your matter” was coming out of the room that no one could hear me knocking. Then I remembered I have Janet's number. I called her and no one picked. I called sikirat that I’m outside,. A minute later, the door was opened. I entered and
met Janet on a pink top and a bump short. She was sweating, then I guess she must have been dancing.
ME: hi jane, I’m here for the lesson,
JANET: “eeeehhmmm onihaxy” did I get it right?
ME: yes
JANET: see I’m tired oooo. I’m not sure I will do lesson today. I have been dancing since. If not for sikirat who told me that it
seems someone is knocking, I wouldn't have known you are outside
ME: ****chaii, omo see sense, this sikira wise oooo****. Ok jane, so what will happen now.
JANET: maybe you should wait for Gideon to be back from school. Then you should teach him.
ME: ok
JANET: what should I offer you?
ME: ****why dis girl dey act nice this time na?****. I’m ok for now,
I waited for Gideon and I thought him mathematics. I continued the lesson since that day. Janet will skip lessons most times
and I dare not tell mummy. Sikirat will sneak to call
me. She said aunty Janet and mummy must not catch her. Most times, we will do midnight call, we do talk about everything
except s#x. I guess she doesn’t want to bring it up and I wasn’t interested neither. I would still prefer Janet to sikirat any day.
until one day when sikirat said she wants to tell me something.
ME: hello sikirat, u said you wanted to tell me something.
SIKIRAT: please I need your help. I don’t know if you will help me,
ME: just say it first.
SIKIRAT:. I wanted a service that I can’t afford to pay for
ME: what service dear?
SIKIRAT: I’m shy to say it.
ME: just say it dear
SIKIrAT: emmmmm ehhmmmm
eeehhmmm. You see, I dropped
out at JSS2. I have passion to go to school but my parents don’t
have the capacity. A sister who brought me to akure from ilorin
promised my parents to send me to school. Only to end up renting me out madam. when we reach akure. I still want education
ME: you mean you want to go back to school?
SIKIRAT: not really
ME: so what do you want?
SIKIRAT: I want you to be teaching me lesson but I don’t have money to pay.
ME: that’s not a problem sikirat. Whenever I come next, I will be
teaching you when I’m through with Janetand Gideon
SIKIRAT: no oooo, mummy and aunty Janet will not support it, they hate me so much, infact, they might send me out of the
house.
ME: so what do you want us to do?
SIKIRAT: I will be coming to your house
ME: *****my heart skipped beat*****. When and how?
SIkiRAT: I used to go to market to buy house needs every 5 days.
I can spend like 2hrs at your place before going to market. And also on Friday nights.
Everyone used to go to vigil and I am always the only one at home with the gateman, I can always come around… Abi ur wife will not support it?
ME: looolz, wife kee?, I have not married, and I’m not in any relationship for now.
SIKIRAT: you mean you don’t have any girlfriend?
ME: yes
SIKiRaT: thank God oooo, no one will say I want to use lesson to snatch her boyfriend.
After the conversation, I was wondering how midnight lessons will look like. Chaiiii, sikirat .

Episode three loading

THE ADVENTURE OF A PRIVATE LESSON TEACHER

Episode One

Graduation had finally come and gone , I will
definitely miss my friends, my study mates,
my environment etc , a lot of thoughts were
running through my mind as I was packing
and arranging my
load. I begin to ask myself, “after national
service next year, what next?”.
Those were my thoughts a year ago. Fast
forward, a year later
I had tried to apply for jobs during my service
year but I couldn’t get a befitting job. My
friends who were born
with silver spoons had jobs waiting for them
at home,
“Which kind wahala be this?”, I picked my bag,
boarded a bus to Akure. When i got home, my
family and neighbours welcomed me, it was
as if a white man had come on a visit. People
were asking me questions, some greeted me,
some were asking for what I brought. As the
days rolled by, I began to search for a job to
do, I moved round the town to see if I could
get a job somewhere. One day while I was
walking on the 3rd street, I saw a woman
coming out of a mighty white duplex house.
She pasted a notice on her gate as I was
passing by. I moved closer to see the what
she was pasting, and on it I saw, "A home
lesson teacher wanted URGENTLY”. Chaiii, I
ignored at first and moved on. After walking
about 8 steps. I stopped and thought.
***** why I go refuse this job na?, dem be rich
people ooo, so dem fit pay.*****, I stopped
thinking, went back to the house, and knocked
on the gate. The gateman ushered me in. The
gateman took me to the main entrance, called
out the woman and left,
ME: good afternoon ma
MADAM: good afternoon young man, how can
I help you?
ME: I saw you pasting a notice and I decided
to apply.
MADAM: you mean the home tutor job?
ME: Yes
MADAM: hope u passed your WAEC? And
what was your result?.
ME: *****smiled*****, yes ma I have.
MADAM: but I will prefer a graduate because
my first daughter wants to write JAMB (JOINT
ADMISSIONS AND MATRICULATIONS BOARD)
and post jamb( a Nigerian entrance
examination for tertiary students), so a
graduate will do better,
ME: *****i looked at myself and thought,
“chaiiii, small stature na bad thing oooo, see I
no look like graduate ?”***** smiled, I’m a
graduate maa.
MADAM: really?, oooohh, pls I am so sorry for
the embarrassment, so sorry please, u look
very young, please come
in please. she ushered me into the living
room.
The interior of the room is a nice one, a
colourful design and nice set of furniture. I
sat on the chair and she sat down opposite
me.
MADAM: I’m sorry once again
ME: its not a problem ma
MaDAM: which state are you from?
ME: Edo
MADAM: how old are you.
ME: ****felt embarrassed*** 23
MADAM: 23? Then what age did you
graduate?
ME: 21 , Maa
MADAM: ***smiled*** u must be a genius, I
like that. So let’s get to business. My first
daughter janet is 19, she failed her last jamb
attempt, so she is writing another one, so u
will teach her physics, chemistry and math,
less I forget. What’s course did you read?
ME: chemistry, Maa
MaDAM: then you should be able to do well
then,
ME: ok ma, ***i looked at the photo on the
wall directly in front of me, it was that of a
very pretty young lady, she is fair and has a
big burst.
This must be janet,
********“chaiiiii, omo see boobbi****
MADAM: I also have a son, 12 in JSS 3, u will
be teaching him mathematics.
Me: ok ma.
MADAM: ********called someone by the name
“Sikira,” Sikira!!! , bring a bottle of coke for me
with a glass ******
A young girl appeared from the kitchen, her
dressing shows that she must be the house
maid. She is fair too but not like janet, she
must be in her early 20’s I guess, she has this
local inbuilt beauty, a nice dimple and an
average sized bosom. She served the coke
and when she turned around.
*******Chaiiiiiiii, omo see
asssssssssss.********
Its that type like mercy johnson’s.
I sipped the coke and continue the discussion.
MADAM: that is my house maid, no tempt her
with your fine boy look oooooo,
ME: ok maa.
Madam: just kidding. So how much are you
charging me?
ME: *****thought for a while, viewed the look
of the house, the cars I saw outside
30,000 niara maa
MADAM: heeeeeeeee, why? I’m not employing
you to train her for cambridge. I will pay you
20,000 per month for the 2 children.
ME: ok maa
MADAM: let me give you a little rule. Don’t go
beyond academics with my daughter, I think
you understand what I
mean ?. If you do, I will send hired killers to
finish you
ME: ok maa,
*******so this woman is only
concerned about her daughter’s nyaash, what
about sikira?*****.
Excuse me maa, can I ask a question?
Madam: go ahead.
ME: please are the children around?! I want to
introduce myself to them
****in my mind, I want to see how janet
looks like in reality****.
MaDAM: janet’s gone to a friend’s birthday
party, gideon my son is sleeping inside. Maybe
when you start your lesson, you will know
them
ME: thanks maa. One more thing please, I
wish to meet daddy too.
MADAM: laughs, daddy is not in nigeria,.
Me: ok maa, let me take my leave,

Watch out for episode two

New study confirms cockroach milk to be nutritious

Have You Heard About The Nutritious COCKROACH MILK?
Who would have thought that
scientists would find a way to make a nutritious meal out of
cockroaches, but they did, and
that’s the new trending food recommended by dieticians. They even went as far as calling it the Super Food of the future and people abroad (USA and INDIA) have already started hoping on the cockroach milk train. The gist here is that the Pacific beetle cockroach (Diploptera punctata)—a small, coffee bean- looking species—is actually viviparous, meaning it delivers offspring that are fully-formed and live, instead of incubated within eggs. During development, the tiny roach larvae will feed off a nourishing secretion produced in their mother’s brood sac. Almost all
mammals exhibit viviparity, yet only a few insects also hold this title. Knowing that delightful fact, a team of biologists at India’s Institute for Stem Cell Biology and Regenerative Medicine decided to investigate whether milk protein crystals found in the cockroach’s gut were analogous to anything found in human or cow’s milk. What they discovered was a surprisingly protein-rich substance containing more than three times the caloric energy of buffalo milk. In addition to its high protein content, the liquid
was also incredibly stable and had a mechanism for controlled nutrient release. Because of this, the researchers believe that, if
successfully synthesized, cockroach milk could be a sustainable superfood of the future. “ The crystals are like a complete food —they have proteins, fats and sugars.
If you look into the protein sequences, they have all the essential amino acids,” Sanchari Banerjee, co- author of the study that was recently published in the
International Union of Crystallography, told the Times of India. Banerjee and his colleagues were able to sequence the Pacific beetle cockroach’s milk, which gets its nutritional potency from special lipid-binding proteins called Lili-Mip
crystals. But in order to do this, the team first needed to delicately extrude the liquid from the midgets of growing embryos. This whole process took approximately 54 days in a laboratory, and yielded as much
milk as you’d expect to collect from the bellies of tiny cockroaches.

New study confirms cockroach milk to be nutritious

Have You Heard About The Nutritious COCKROACH MILK?
Who would have thought that
scientists would find a way to make a nutritious meal out of
cockroaches, but they did, and
that’s the new trending food recommended by dieticians. They even went as far as calling it the Super Food of the future and people abroad (USA and INDIA) have already started hoping on the cockroach milk train. The gist here is that the Pacific beetle cockroach (Diploptera punctata)—a small, coffee bean- looking species—is actually viviparous, meaning it delivers offspring that are fully-formed and live, instead of incubated within eggs. During development, the tiny roach larvae will feed off a nourishing secretion produced in their mother’s brood sac. Almost all
mammals exhibit viviparity, yet only a few insects also hold this title. Knowing that delightful fact, a team of biologists at India’s Institute for Stem Cell Biology and Regenerative Medicine decided to investigate whether milk protein crystals found in the cockroach’s gut were analogous to anything found in human or cow’s milk. What they discovered was a surprisingly protein-rich substance containing more than three times the caloric energy of buffalo milk. In addition to its high protein content, the liquid
was also incredibly stable and had a mechanism for controlled nutrient release. Because of this, the researchers believe that, if
successfully synthesized, cockroach milk could be a sustainable superfood of the future. “ The crystals are like a complete food —they have proteins, fats and sugars.
If you look into the protein sequences, they have all the essential amino acids,” Sanchari Banerjee, co- author of the study that was recently published in the
International Union of Crystallography, told the Times of India. Banerjee and his colleagues were able to sequence the Pacific beetle cockroach’s milk, which gets its nutritional potency from special lipid-binding proteins called Lili-Mip
crystals. But in order to do this, the team first needed to delicately extrude the liquid from the midgets of growing embryos. This whole process took approximately 54 days in a laboratory, and yielded as much
milk as you’d expect to collect from the bellies of tiny cockroaches.

Maternity shoot; trendy, classy or trashy?

More and more moms-to-be are opting to have professional photos taken while they are pregnant. Some even dare to go
bare, or close to it, and pose in skimpy lingerie or with strategically placed fabric draped across their bodies. But is showing off your baby bump
classy or trashy? Some believe pregnancy is private, and a woman's body should be kept under wraps. Others, however,
want to capture their pregnancy glow and celebrate their experience.
What's your say on this trend?

I can't keep quiet, there is poverty everywhere!

I can’t keep quiet, There’s Poverty
Everywhere – Father Mbaka Tells
Buhari
Popular Catholic priest and
Spiritual Head of Adoration
Ministry, Rev. Fr. Ejike Mbaka, has warned President Muhammad Buhari that Nigerians may not vote for him in 2019 if he does not address the high level of hunger and suffering in the country.
Mbaka has been one of Buhari’s
supporters since he asked Nigerians to reject Goodluck Jonathan of the PDP during the 2015 presidential pool and predicted Buhari’s victory.
But, in a surprising turn of events,
Mbaka cried out on behalf of many Nigerians who are suffering. In a new message obtained, Father Mbaka noted
that there was too much suffering in the country, and faulted the President for not appointing the right people.
He also accused the President of
listening to the wrong advice.
He said, “The issue is that Mbaka is speaking as the Spirit leads him – there is hunger everywhere. My job is to tell leaders the truth, the landlords are crying, the tenants are lamenting, sellers are crying,
buyers are lamenting – there is
hunger on the streets. “I can’t keep quiet when things are
going wrong. I am telling the
President to look around him and
know those who are advising him
rightly and those who are telling
him that there is no trouble. “The President should know that
there is trouble – if things continue like this, in the next election, nobody will vote for him.
“Whether they like it or not, I am
speaking the raw truth. If the
President should have somebody
like me and he cannot be talking
with me, then there is a problem.
“There is a problem somewhere;
somebody who can advise you
without asking for anything and he is representing the poor masses in the country and he won’t tell you lies.
“He will praise you when you are
doing well and when you are not
doing well, he will look at you in
the face and tell you.” Continuing, the Priest said, “I don’t need the President; I need God, I need the Holy Spirit, I need Jesus; there is suffering everywhere, people are suffering. “To feed is now a problem, and an hungry man is an angry man. Hunger and anger will lead to danger. So, let him know whether he can do away with some advisers around him and bring in the people who are experts in economic revamp.
“There are people who are experts..; let them begin to
empower people, people are not
empowered, they are still walking
around in vicious circles, planning and planning and planning.” Mbaka said there were no spaces left in mortuaries across the country.
“Hunger is everywhere, many
neighbours don’t eat again, many
are being attacked by hunger,
hunger is becoming a normal thing and there are people responsible for this. “Mortuary and ambulance business is now thriving because many cannot afford drugs. In today's Nigeria, many are becoming hawkers, who will buy from you, with what?” “So, the President should sit up – there is a red light blinking on the country… We need economic experts, gurus, sages that are sincere, who can come in and think about our economic revamp.”

Why I Will Win Again If Presidential Election Holds Today – Buhari

President Muhammadu Buhari has revealed why he will become Nigerians President if another Presidential election is being conducted. During an interview with a popular daily, Buhari stated that he is still as popular as he was during the 2015 presidential election. He said, "Yes, I was elected by an overwhelming majority of Nigerians, and I am ever grateful for the opportunity I have been given to serve. “However, I don’t consider the result of the so-called survey a slip in my public
rating and acceptance. I appreciate the high expectations of Nigerians and as an
administration we are working assiduously to deliver. “We came in with a mantra of Change and
the zeal to give a new lease of life to governance. Our zeal has remained the same and we are always prepared to make the difference. “You will recall that when I was being sworn in, I emphasized that as a
government, three key areas will be the priorities. The first is the need to rebuild the economy. I also pledged to fight insecurity while the third and equally
important area is the fight against corruption. “Nigeria will soon be back on track. Before
now, we have been having sleepless nights in Nigeria with Boko Haram having field days in tormenting people, most
especially in the North-Eastern part of the country. So far, we have shown resilience in stopping these people and yet many criticize the approach we are using. “What I think our people should know is that a process of change is difficult as it
requires endurance and patience. China, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia and other great Asian countries had at different times passed through processes of
change. They are far better off today. “And some of these countries were at far with Nigeria in terms of development some five decades ago. We are
attempting to do the same here to say let us stop building individuals, let us stop making those who serve in government
get stupendously wealthy at the expense of ordinary Nigerians they had sworn to serve. “Rather, we should concentrate on
building strong institutions. Let us introduce economic prosperity by bringing in more investors to catalyze a sense of
competition to grow our economy. Let there be law and order in our ways.”

Common Naija Ladies phrases and What They Actually Mean

Women have incredible communication skills that go way beyond what us men even fathom as functional . Sometimes it’ s hard for us to understand what is really going on in any given conversation.  This is a compilation of the common phrases women use that need to be understood by most men.

1. “I don’ t care ”
Translation : “ I care very much but I feel we ’ ve reached the point in our relationship in which you should already know what I want without me having to verbally communicate it like
a normal person . ”
2. “We need to talk”
Translation : “ You done MESSED UP !”
3. “I’ m fine”
Translation : “ I’ m not fine . I’ m just done talking to you. ”
4. “You’ re fine”
Translation : ” I will remember what You’ve done , forever. ”
5. “Do whatever you want”
Translation : “ Do what I want.”
6. “How does this look on me?”
Translation : “ Tell me I ’m pretty.”
7. “I’ m calm”
Translation : “ Tell me to calm down one more time. I dare you. ”
8. “Just forget it ”
Translation : “ Your ignorance irritates me beyond reason . For your safety, just walk away . ”
9. “Are you serious ?”
Translation : “ I’ m going to eat you for lunch. ”
10. “I was just kidding”
Translation : “ I was kind of kidding, but with an uncomfortably serious undertone
indicating that your behavior is
unacceptable and needs to change . ”
11. “What did you just say ?”
Translation : “ I can’ t believe you just said that . Now is your chance to start begging for forgiveness, which I'll give you in a few years. ”
12. “OK, you’ re right ”
Translation : “ You ’ re so wrong , but I'm going to guilt trip you into admitting it by saying you’ re right and then waiting for things to blow up in your face. ”
13. “Who is she?”
Translation : “ You are not to contact , see or even think about her again. I don’ t care if she’ s your second cousin.
14. “Maybe . I’ ll let you know . ”
Translation : “ I’ m really not interested in doing whatever you suggested , but if I can’ t find anything better to do I ’ll settle
– or I just won ’ t respond. ”
15. “I’ ll be ready in 5 minutes !”
Translation : “ We ’ re going to be very, very late . ”
16. “You’ re going to wear that ?”
Translation : “ I will not be seen in public with you in that getup. Go change . ”
17. Tense silence
Translation : Just Run … Cos she might be planning to murder you.

Common Naija Ladies phrases and What They Actually Mean

Women have incredible communication skills that go way beyond what us men even fathom as functional . Sometimes it’ s hard for us to understand what is really going on in any given conversation.  This is a compilation of the common phrases women use that need to be understood by most men.

1. “I don’ t care ”
Translation : “ I care very much but I feel we ’ ve reached the point in our relationship in which you should already know what I want without me having to verbally communicate it like
a normal person . ”
2. “We need to talk”
Translation : “ You done MESSED UP !”
3. “I’ m fine”
Translation : “ I’ m not fine . I’ m just done talking to you. ”
4. “You’ re fine”
Translation : ” I will remember what You’ve done , forever. ”
5. “Do whatever you want”
Translation : “ Do what I want.”
6. “How does this look on me?”
Translation : “ Tell me I ’m pretty.”
7. “I’ m calm”
Translation : “ Tell me to calm down one more time. I dare you. ”
8. “Just forget it ”
Translation : “ Your ignorance irritates me beyond reason . For your safety, just walk away . ”
9. “Are you serious ?”
Translation : “ I’ m going to eat you for lunch. ”
10. “I was just kidding”
Translation : “ I was kind of kidding, but with an uncomfortably serious undertone
indicating that your behavior is
unacceptable and needs to change . ”
11. “What did you just say ?”
Translation : “ I can’ t believe you just said that . Now is your chance to start begging for forgiveness, which I'll give you in a few years. ”
12. “OK, you’ re right ”
Translation : “ You ’ re so wrong , but I'm going to guilt trip you into admitting it by saying you’ re right and then waiting for things to blow up in your face. ”
13. “Who is she?”
Translation : “ You are not to contact , see or even think about her again. I don’ t care if she’ s your second cousin.
14. “Maybe . I’ ll let you know . ”
Translation : “ I’ m really not interested in doing whatever you suggested , but if I can’ t find anything better to do I ’ll settle
– or I just won ’ t respond. ”
15. “I’ ll be ready in 5 minutes !”
Translation : “ We ’ re going to be very, very late . ”
16. “You’ re going to wear that ?”
Translation : “ I will not be seen in public with you in that getup. Go change . ”
17. Tense silence
Translation : Just Run … Cos she might be planning to murder you.