Why I Will Win Again If Presidential Election Holds Today – Buhari

President Muhammadu Buhari has revealed why he will become Nigerians President if another Presidential election is being conducted. During an interview with a popular daily, Buhari stated that he is still as popular as he was during the 2015 presidential election. He said, "Yes, I was elected by an overwhelming majority of Nigerians, and I am ever grateful for the opportunity I have been given to serve. “However, I don’t consider the result of the so-called survey a slip in my public
rating and acceptance. I appreciate the high expectations of Nigerians and as an
administration we are working assiduously to deliver. “We came in with a mantra of Change and
the zeal to give a new lease of life to governance. Our zeal has remained the same and we are always prepared to make the difference. “You will recall that when I was being sworn in, I emphasized that as a
government, three key areas will be the priorities. The first is the need to rebuild the economy. I also pledged to fight insecurity while the third and equally
important area is the fight against corruption. “Nigeria will soon be back on track. Before
now, we have been having sleepless nights in Nigeria with Boko Haram having field days in tormenting people, most
especially in the North-Eastern part of the country. So far, we have shown resilience in stopping these people and yet many criticize the approach we are using. “What I think our people should know is that a process of change is difficult as it
requires endurance and patience. China, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia and other great Asian countries had at different times passed through processes of
change. They are far better off today. “And some of these countries were at far with Nigeria in terms of development some five decades ago. We are
attempting to do the same here to say let us stop building individuals, let us stop making those who serve in government
get stupendously wealthy at the expense of ordinary Nigerians they had sworn to serve. “Rather, we should concentrate on
building strong institutions. Let us introduce economic prosperity by bringing in more investors to catalyze a sense of
competition to grow our economy. Let there be law and order in our ways.”

Common Naija Ladies phrases and What They Actually Mean

Women have incredible communication skills that go way beyond what us men even fathom as functional . Sometimes it’ s hard for us to understand what is really going on in any given conversation.  This is a compilation of the common phrases women use that need to be understood by most men.

1. “I don’ t care ”
Translation : “ I care very much but I feel we ’ ve reached the point in our relationship in which you should already know what I want without me having to verbally communicate it like
a normal person . ”
2. “We need to talk”
Translation : “ You done MESSED UP !”
3. “I’ m fine”
Translation : “ I’ m not fine . I’ m just done talking to you. ”
4. “You’ re fine”
Translation : ” I will remember what You’ve done , forever. ”
5. “Do whatever you want”
Translation : “ Do what I want.”
6. “How does this look on me?”
Translation : “ Tell me I ’m pretty.”
7. “I’ m calm”
Translation : “ Tell me to calm down one more time. I dare you. ”
8. “Just forget it ”
Translation : “ Your ignorance irritates me beyond reason . For your safety, just walk away . ”
9. “Are you serious ?”
Translation : “ I’ m going to eat you for lunch. ”
10. “I was just kidding”
Translation : “ I was kind of kidding, but with an uncomfortably serious undertone
indicating that your behavior is
unacceptable and needs to change . ”
11. “What did you just say ?”
Translation : “ I can’ t believe you just said that . Now is your chance to start begging for forgiveness, which I'll give you in a few years. ”
12. “OK, you’ re right ”
Translation : “ You ’ re so wrong , but I'm going to guilt trip you into admitting it by saying you’ re right and then waiting for things to blow up in your face. ”
13. “Who is she?”
Translation : “ You are not to contact , see or even think about her again. I don’ t care if she’ s your second cousin.
14. “Maybe . I’ ll let you know . ”
Translation : “ I’ m really not interested in doing whatever you suggested , but if I can’ t find anything better to do I ’ll settle
– or I just won ’ t respond. ”
15. “I’ ll be ready in 5 minutes !”
Translation : “ We ’ re going to be very, very late . ”
16. “You’ re going to wear that ?”
Translation : “ I will not be seen in public with you in that getup. Go change . ”
17. Tense silence
Translation : Just Run … Cos she might be planning to murder you.

Common Naija Ladies phrases and What They Actually Mean

Women have incredible communication skills that go way beyond what us men even fathom as functional . Sometimes it’ s hard for us to understand what is really going on in any given conversation.  This is a compilation of the common phrases women use that need to be understood by most men.

1. “I don’ t care ”
Translation : “ I care very much but I feel we ’ ve reached the point in our relationship in which you should already know what I want without me having to verbally communicate it like
a normal person . ”
2. “We need to talk”
Translation : “ You done MESSED UP !”
3. “I’ m fine”
Translation : “ I’ m not fine . I’ m just done talking to you. ”
4. “You’ re fine”
Translation : ” I will remember what You’ve done , forever. ”
5. “Do whatever you want”
Translation : “ Do what I want.”
6. “How does this look on me?”
Translation : “ Tell me I ’m pretty.”
7. “I’ m calm”
Translation : “ Tell me to calm down one more time. I dare you. ”
8. “Just forget it ”
Translation : “ Your ignorance irritates me beyond reason . For your safety, just walk away . ”
9. “Are you serious ?”
Translation : “ I’ m going to eat you for lunch. ”
10. “I was just kidding”
Translation : “ I was kind of kidding, but with an uncomfortably serious undertone
indicating that your behavior is
unacceptable and needs to change . ”
11. “What did you just say ?”
Translation : “ I can’ t believe you just said that . Now is your chance to start begging for forgiveness, which I'll give you in a few years. ”
12. “OK, you’ re right ”
Translation : “ You ’ re so wrong , but I'm going to guilt trip you into admitting it by saying you’ re right and then waiting for things to blow up in your face. ”
13. “Who is she?”
Translation : “ You are not to contact , see or even think about her again. I don’ t care if she’ s your second cousin.
14. “Maybe . I’ ll let you know . ”
Translation : “ I’ m really not interested in doing whatever you suggested , but if I can’ t find anything better to do I ’ll settle
– or I just won ’ t respond. ”
15. “I’ ll be ready in 5 minutes !”
Translation : “ We ’ re going to be very, very late . ”
16. “You’ re going to wear that ?”
Translation : “ I will not be seen in public with you in that getup. Go change . ”
17. Tense silence
Translation : Just Run … Cos she might be planning to murder you.

Wonder shall never cease! SA pastor took a selfie in the Garden of Eden!

Wonders they say never cease, South African Pastor, Mboro as he’s commonly called said he went to Heaven, not only that he also said he met God, Jesus, took selfies with angels, and saw the black wife of Jesus!
Prophet Mboro , in his attempt to show that he should be taken seriously, posted a heavily
photo-shopped picture where he is seen with his expensive phone with a huge snake by his side.
Prophet Mboro wants everyone to know that while he took a tour of heaven, he also made a detour to the famed Garden of Eden where he met with the Serpent who allegedly deceived Adam and Eve into eating the fruit from the forbidden tree.
Hmmmmmm mmmmmmm

Charley Boy writes President Buhari

Mr. President Sir,
Once again I am compelled to voice
out my bewilderment at the
stumbling and wobbly kind of
governance we have had since you
came onboard.
I wonder what you are doing right
now. I wonder if our tears, pains
and hopelessness affect you in
anyway. I wonder if you are the
one in charge or some other
people…
You have tasted leadership before
and you know what it entails. I
understand that. However, then
and now are two different
scenarios, two separate
dispensations.
We know you.
We know about your war against
indiscipline.
We hear about your no-nonsense
stand against corruption.
We have read so much about our
stolen monies which you have
managed to recover. Well done sha.
Meanwhile, the nagging questions
that leave me sleepless most nights
remain unanswered…
How much money have you
collected from the looters so far?
To what use have the monies been
put?
From where I stand, it seems you’re
the only one in your cabinet
fighting corruption while your
praise singers are busy washing
you all over town trying to
convince us that you’re a good
man.
I, CharlyBoy, know that you are a
“good” man: someone who loves
the country, a patriot with a high
sense of morals perhaps. But na
that one we go chop? Is that all that
is needed to fix the rot of over
40yrs.?
I don’t think so!
To a great degree, Nigeria has
become a terribly dysfunctional
society.
I didn’t vote in the last elections
because I just tire with the kalokalo
leadership so far. Even when a lot
of people wanted change, I
wondered what manner of change
could come when in our history we
never really struggled for anything.
Before you sat on that chair, I
proclaimed that Nigeria would only
survive under a benevolent
dictator; one with lots of selfless
love for the country and is willing
to lay down his life, one who would
deal mercilessly with all those who
have ruined our land.
A lot of people thought I was talking
about you.
From Boko Haram to Niger Delta
Avengers. MASSOB, OPC, to Biafran
Avengers, name it, the list is endles.
Mr President Sir, you ought to, as a
matter of urgency, review your
approach to handling issues
because, sometimes diplomacy
works better. Excessive force will
only breed more discontentment.
Take it from me.
Your mark of fair play must cut
across board, you must not leave
room for us to second-guess your
intentions biko, and you must at all
times convey clarity of purpose.
It is not possible (or I should say it
is unbelievable) that you can’t see
that we are swimming in the river
of chaos.
It is funny because, those who feel
insulated and protected by the
State will discover that they are
mere sitting ducks!
Just because say boys dey vex!
Putting Nigeria together will take a
lot more than childish, nonsensical
propaganda.
It will take more than prayers,
more than just being a good guy.
Being good is important but not as
important as being a no-nonsense
ass-kicker; person wey no send,
because many things don scatter.
I don’t care if you’re trying to
convert all of us to Islam, I don’t
care if everyone in your cabinet is
your in-law, brother, sister,
tribesman, cook, steward or even
your MaiGuard.
On behalf of all the frustrated
youths in this country, all we need
is a leader who can fix things, not
the one that comes with excuses.
A leader who is not afraid to admit
that he has no clue to certain
matters but willing to learn spot on
and hands on.
A leader who can’t be comfortable
with praise singers.
A leader who is troubled by the cry
of poverty-ridden Nigerians.
A leader who can raise our hope
once again in our battered country.
A leader who can make us start
believing in our Nigeria again.
Oga Presido, do sometin o, boys are
vexing!
– Charley Boy (Area Fada)

THE FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

Now, an animal has just crawled (walked?) into my sitting room! . I said, walked because I can see it has legs,.. but having the shape of a lizard, ‘crawl’ seems more appropriate. On second thoughts, let me adopt the word ‘slither’.
The creature is deep brown, has a forked tongue like a malevolent reptile. Abi na snake ni? I have tried my damnedest to deploy a broom to kill it, but the darned thing has proved to be too fleet footed.  I can’t find it now, as it is hiding somewhere, and I am dead worried. I had lifted chairs, carpets, everything. Can’t locate the beast, which I spotted a few microseconds ago! .
In my anxiety and attempt to kill the creature (I don’t know if it is actually a lizard, or kilo think), I mistakenly stepped on a Tablet which was charging by the side.
Chinekeh ooo. Gbese! The screen pulverized diametrically!
Meanwhile, this thing is still somewhere inside the house, hiding, only to sneak out and crawl around intermittently, making me jump. I am deadly worried. The broken Tab has made me to, temporarily abandon the fervent hunt for
the lizard-snake. But, I know I have to find that thing. Who knows, maybe the thing has a
poisonous bite.
With us all in Nigeria living in darkness courtesy of PHCN, I fear for Nightfall. The habit of sitting in the sitting room now has to be suspended. I can't even proceed to conduct a Google search on what kind of creature it is and to determine if I need to pack out of the house temporarily until the animal is found and killed. After all, Google answereth all things . I urgently need to determine if I am worried for nothing. Better to be safe than to be poisoned, jare. Now, let me go and see how deeply in debt I am on account of this broken Tablet screen. Sigh!
I just tire!
Happy Sunday jare.
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Bbm: 52d726ce

Nollywood actress, Bukky Ajayi dies at 82

Light dimmed early yesterday on the popular octogenarian stage and screen actress Zainab Bukky Ajayi, who is popular as ‘Auntie Bukky’. Aged 82, the actress reportedly died in her family home in Surulere area of Lagos
and was later buried at Atan
Cemetery, Yaba, Lagos in accordance with Islamic injunction.
She is best known for her inimitable performance in the Andrew Dosumu’s well travelled film Mother of George and in some Nollywood movies
including the 2004 feature Indecent Girl and the 1998 movie Witches.
Auntie Bukky began her career on
screen as an announcer, presenter and newscaster with the Nigerian Television Authority (NTA). While at that, Auntie Bukky who studied drama at the prestigious Stanislavsky Institute
of Drama, London found time to
feature in some soaps and series
produced on NTA, the now rested
Village Headmaster series is one
programme that benefitted from her expert rendering. Her last public outing as a celebrity
when she honoured the invitation of the organizers of the Africa Magic Viewers Choice Award (AMVCA) to receive a life time achievement award.
She had said shortly after receiving the award “all these people (referring to the audience that all stood to also honour her). You mean you are all standing for me? Oh. Oh…please, if I have done anything wrong to you in
the past, please forgive me…and I too have forgiven those who wronged me in the course of life and on this job.”

EVERYBODY IS A WINNER

It is confusing to zero in on what constitutes the truth. Or, What is absolute falsehood. Everybody has an opinion, wrong or right. It is the cheapest commodity. The problem is, most people would hold on to an opinion as if their life depends on it. Applying the superior logic of Plato may win you the battle, but still lose you
the war! How do we determine what is right from what is wrong, in little matters and very big ones?
How do we sift through ambiguities, falsehood, misinformation, obfuscation, lies and damn lies?

Take religion.
Everybody believes that his own religion (if he has one), is the way home. An intellectual discourse on why one religion may be based on falsehood and the other is more credible would usually lead to arguments, rancor, fisticuffs, and even murder!

Take sports.
Every football lover would analyze why Manchester United may the best club, while the other fan(atic) would passionately explain why his own club, Tottenham HotSpurs, should bear that accolade.

Take politics, Nigerian politics.
Every one with some political zeal or awareness would tell you why his best candidate is the best for Nigeria. They could use sentiment, subtle, blackmail, logic, misinformation or obfuscation to persuade you of the superiority of their position.
.
.
A wise man said that, Nothing is right and nothing is wrong, but that thinking makes it so. We generally only see what we want to see, and agree with what already correlates with our own
internal thoughts. With our perception being our reality, coupled with the saying that ‘a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still’, it may
actually be wise to stay clear of contentious matters of religion, politics, ethnic bias and other things that could elevate blood
temperature and create interpersonal friction. Unless you are a professional Preacher, social crusader, or politician, changing the minds of people on issues where people usually have hard-line position could be a waste of mental and material energy.
Thus is why, I would almost always avoid debates with people I want a harmonious relationship with. There are exceptions,
depending on the individual in question, but a general rule of thumb is to abide, and be guided,
by that Yoruba Adage that says, ‘arguments spoil friendship’
A wise saying, is, ‘agree with your adversary quickly’ . If there is nothing to lose by conceding an argument (even when you believe you have a superior position ), go ahead and concede. That kills the argument immediately, and should generally engender a more tranquil relationship with others. Yes. everything is about perception And everybody is right. And everybody who sets out to show the Other man the error of his position is already a LOSER.