Where is your bus stop?

If you get aboard a Lagos bus and after a while you hear the conductor call out “under!”, “Killer!”, ” Masha!” don’t panic, it is not the beginning of madness, he is just calling out bus- stops; so where is your bus stop?
There are so many humorous things that take place while traveling on a Lagos commercial
bus, certain things that happen or that are said, are just enough to keep you laughing if you take
a second thought at them.
For me the bus-stops in Lagos and the way these conductors call them out, gets me laughing always. So you have bus-stop like
“Westminster” pronounced as “West Minister” and you can’t but laugh to tears. There are many more bus-stops which I find funny, either in their pronunciation or in the meaning
of their names as it were.
Perhaps I should give you some heads-up, every major landmark in Lagos eventually is used as a
bus-stop, and in the case of no major building/ edifice; then the nearest Iroko tree becomes
the bus-stop for the area.
This theory holds majorly for residents in the mainland, as the Lagos-Island tends to have a
good number bus-stops with straight names.
Without spoiling the fun, here are some of the craziest and funniest names I have found of the lot that exist around the Lagos megalopolis.
Come “along”, yes, ‘along’ is yet another bus- stop’s name.
CEMETERY BUS STOP
There are so many cemetery bus-stops across Lagos. The simple rationale for the bus-stop
name, being that the cemetery located around the corner is about the most popular place to
reckon with within the area. Seriously, I mean,
how can you say you live at “Cemetery bus stop”?
MOSHALASHI
Moshalashi means mosque, and there are major
mosques in virtually every part of Lagos. You
can rarely go to on any Local government are
which doesn’t have a MOSHALASHI - BUS STOP .
MECHANIC BUS STOP
There is one just after Okokomaiko and like the
other bus-stops, just for the mere fact that a
group of automobile mechanics make one spot
their workshop, it automatically becomes a bus-
stop. Tell me, what can be easier to describe
than a group of men with shirts soiled with so
much grease.
ABATTOIR
I asked someone recently, where do you live
and he said “abattoir” and I could not hold back
my laughter, apparently he was referring to the
popular bus-stop around the Abule Egba area of
Lagos, where the Lagos abattoir is located.
CHURCH BUS STOP - Along Mile 2
The name says it all, you can already guess
what inspired this bus-stop located along
AGBOJU MILE 2 (Badagry expressway).
COCONUT BUS STOP - Along Mile 2
The presence of a long row of coconut trees
gave rise to the name of this bus-stop located
on your way to Mile 2. Infact, you will hear the
conductors call out “Mile-2 Coconut!”, on their
trips from Oshodi through iyana-isolo and down
past Cele-bus stop.
CELE BUS STOP - Along Mile 2
Lagosians have an abbreviation for the Celestial
churches, and that is “Cele” and that is the
concept behind naming this bus-stop after some
celestial church within.
TAKUTI JESU - Ajah
It remains somewhat unclear to me why this
bus-stop was named “Taku ti Jesu”, a name
which basically means never letting go of
Jesus. Perhaps some new form of admonition,
so don’t let go till you get what you want.
Somebody, must have read Jacob’s story.
MONGORO - Along Oshodi- Egbeda road
Now this is one very funny one. Just like
coconut, this is supposed to be Mango bus- stop, but the conductors never fail to call it
“mongoro”, I can’t forget how much i laughed
the first time I deciphered it.
ILE-EPO - Along EJIGBO-IKOTUN road
Just along the Ejigbo-Ikotun road, is this bus-
stop whose name is derived from the mere fact
that a “filling-station” ( fuel station) is sited
there. Ile-epo literally mean, house-of-oil (a gas
station).
7/8- ALONG AIRPORT ROAD
For as long as I have known this bus-stop, it
has fascinated me, as I have tried tirelessly to
solve the maths behind its name. Please if you
have a clue, then let us know. Same goes for
the bus-stop named 23-24.
ONIGBONGBO - Maryland
In all honesty, I can tell you for real what the
name entail. However, I am more concerned
with the way it sounds when pronounced. Go
on, try it, O-ni-gbon-gbo. Don’t bite your tongue.
ONIPANU - Along Yaba-Ikorodu road
Unlike Onigbongo, I think Onipanu means some
one who trades in aluminum and building
materials. So you can be sure that there is/was
a popular “onipanu” to earn it a place as a
popular bus-stop in Lagos.
ALAKARA BUS STOP
If you understand yoruba well enough, then you
will understand that this bus-stop was named
after someone, who most likely is a woman that
sells “bean-cakes” locally called “akara”.